the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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