That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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