Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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