4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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