So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
