Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
