Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
