someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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