well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
