You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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