its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
