i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
