I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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