I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
