I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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