We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
dude. I can hear the air.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
