I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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