I wanna bring you to show and tell
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
