i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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