craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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