If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
