I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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