Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
