it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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