capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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