Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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