I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
