Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize