Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
