I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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