Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
this just has baby written all over it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
