do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
