PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
