we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
