and i looked up. we had an audience...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
