I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
