Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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