Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
