Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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