everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
