these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
