There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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