So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
