Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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