I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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