using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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