I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
