how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
