i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
