Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
