You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize