Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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