he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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